goodbye.

-I will never forget the look in those big brown eyes as I turned around for the last time and walked out that door.

       It was the morning of that final day. I woke up, and finishing packing up those few last things. I remember telling myself, "just keep it together." I knew that if I convinced myself not to loose it, there was a slight chance I would stay strong. I ate breakfast and got in the car to go to the orphanage just like a normal day. Except this time my mom and sister were sitting next to me.
       As I walked up those stairs for the last time I was taking mental pictures of everything I saw. I knew this would be a day I would never forget.
       Everything was normal just like every other day had been over the past four months. Except that one little voice in the back of my mind telling me to stay strong. I knew deep down inside that it would only take time till I lost it. I remember thinking, "all you have to do is act like your okay, and no one will know how hard this really is." I told my mom and my sister countless times, " I feel like this isn't real and I don't think I am going to cry." But i was wrong.
       I glanced at the clock; one hour left, time to say goodbye. This was the moment I had been dreading for four months. The moment where I would look into those eyes, feel the touch of those little brown hands and kiss those soft full cheeks one last time.
       Sor called us into the kitchen. I watched as she slowly one by one pulled out a glass cup for each of us. She continued to talk to us in only spanish, telling us how we had changed these kids lives. As i listened to her speak, tears ran down my cheeks. I realized that every word she said, I understood.
       I turned around to see little K standing there. Arms wide open with a big smile peering across that beautiful face. I took her hand and slowly walked towards the corner. I needed to be alone with my princess to say that final goodbye.
        She tugged my apron, pulling me down to eye level. I slowly sat down as she placed herself perfectly on my lap. I watched that innocent little child simply play with the chain around my neck. Perfect in every way. I studied every inch of that brown face, burning those images into my brain forever. She looked up at me, those big brown eyes, and wiped a tear that had fallen down my cheek. Right then and there I knew that beautiful child had changed my life.
        I walked around, giving each one of my kids a kiss goodbye. "Its time to go" I heard someone say. With swollen red eyes, I hung my head and walked towards the door. I stopped as i could hear those little feet running up behind me. I bent down and kissed her one last time. I will never forget the look in those big brown eyes as I turned around for the last time and walked out that door. It took everything in me to not turn back.
       As I walked out of that door and down the stairs, I silently thanked my Heavenly Father for putting that perfect child into my life. And prayed that he would keep her safe forever.

-There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about that beautiful child of mine. She will forever hold a special place in my heart, as the little girl who changed my life. I am so grateful I had this amazing opportunity to grow as a person and serve my Heavenly Father. This was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you Mom and Dad. I will be forever grateful.

I love you K.